Shorts, Body Image, and Some Rambling

17 05 2010

I am going to copy and paste what I wrote a few days ago for my tumblr account. I think it needs to be shared here:

“Yesterday I wore shorts while I ran. Real shorts. Not knee length basketball shorts… but shorts about 4 in above the knee.

I have not felt comfortable enough with my body to wear shorts for the past 7 years. That is how long it has been since I wore REAL shorts. I am proud of myself for working hard to feel better and be healthier. I used to be ashamed of how much I weighed. I would not tell anyone… and when I had to state my weight I would reduce it by at least 20 pounds. I am not afraid to state my weight anymore, I am still way over weight but after all this work I am proud to tell you how much I weighed when I started and what I am today. (In stats page)

Yeah I am still fat and yes this is still in progress. I have 30 more pounds to lose before I hit my weight I need to join the Air Force. But I WILL get to my weight. And I WILL join the Air Force.

So yes, wearing shorts is a big thing to me. Wearing them after running to go grocery shopping at Wal Mart around my college peers and my work associates was even bigger to me.

And I bought 2 pairs of running shorts. I have a date with my second pair on Sunday when I run 2 miles straight. Thats a new first for me; running 2 miles without any walking… and yes, I can do it.”

I am not the only one with body issue problems… duh. But I think it interesting how people get so bent out of shape over their body image. For example:

My running buddy doesn’t like her upper body. I think she looks great, but I also know that she won’t feel comfortable with her upper body until she is ready. Which is totally fine, it took me 7 years to wear a frickin’ pair of shorts. So yeah, I get it.

I have another friend who is self conscious about her legs. I think her legs are fab, but its the same story.

We are all our toughest critics. No matter what, we judge ourselves harder than anyone else in the world. Its true. I understand that I do this to myself but I still don’t have any way to get over it. Well, besides telling myself to quit bitching and just do it.




2 responses

18 05 2010

I’m not at the stage where I can wear shorts. But it’s good to see that finally I will also get there!

18 05 2010

Hey it took me 7 years, but with enough work at the weight loss I am sure that you will get there too!

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